A Family, Beauty, Health and Lifestyle Blog
Separating from a partner can result in many raw emotions for both parties, which could lead to much conflict and tension. However, if you have a child together, you must find ways to effectively communicate with each other.
A separation can be upsetting for children, which is why you must put their well-being ahead of your own feelings. To make the transition as smooth as possible, read the following advice on how to maintain an amicable relationship for your kids.
Set an Example
It might make it difficult to maintain an amicable relationship with your ex-partner if they are awkward or cruel when you meet. However, rising to their bait will only amplify the problem. Whenever they test your patience, take a deep breath and aim to maintain a mature, calm demeanor, which will set an example to both your children and your ex-spouse.
If you and your ex are experiencing a breakdown in communication, and cannot come to any form of truce, it might be worthwhile undertaking mediation. An objective onlooker could help you to reach an agreement on the best course of action for moving forward, which will allow your children to enjoy a happy childhood and a positive relationship with both parents.
Avoid the Blame Game
Children are more in tune with their environment than you might think. For this reason, you must avoid playing the blame game in front of your kids, or they might believe they need to pick a side.
Even if you’re upset or angry with your ex-partner, you must bite your tongue and avoid saying negative comments to your son or daughter. If you have strong feelings you need to get off your chest, confide in your trusted friends, family members or a therapist, as they could help you to work through the negative emotions.
Remain in Close Contact with Your Children
While you might no longer be in a romantic relationship with your children’s mother or father, this shouldn’t come at the cost of your relationship with your kids. Your parental duties will remain the same, which is why you must regularly see and communicate with your children, and financially support your partner if you no longer live inside the family home. If you don’t, you could receive a message similar to this TSR IG parent.
Never Ask Your Child About Your Ex
While it is perfectly acceptable to ask your children how they spend their time with a parent, you should avoid asking personal questions regarding your ex’s life. Not only might they misinterpret your questions, which can cause unnecessary confusion, but they could relay the information back to your ex-partner, which can lead to additional conflict or tension.
Remaining amicable with an ex-spouse might not always feel easy, but it is necessary for your children’s wellbeing. So, work through your emotions away from your kids, maintain a calm, mature demeanor and avoid interfering with your ex’s personal life, which will ensure your children have a healthy, happy childhood.
Parenting is difficult enough when you are perfectly healthy. When you are dealing with an illness, however, it can often feel that your children end up taking more care of you than you are of them. This can be incredibly frustrating and limiting, and that, in turn, can hamper your life in so many ways. You need to have a positive outlook on life in order to make the most of it and in order to be the best mom you can be. Disparaging on what you cannot do won’t help, instead, focus on what you can do. Learning how to manage your illness and live with it will be hard, but very rewarding. Start by following this guide:
Take Control of Your Healthcare
Being shuffled around from one treatment option to another just because you are on Medicare is not okay. You have a right to choose what care you get and who takes care of you. A loved one, like a sibling, a parent, or friend (but not spouse) can be trained and certified to take care of you and get paid for their work. These sorts of options put the choice back into the hand of patients, allowing you to make the best decision for your life. To opt for this option, of course, you need to enroll in the program. For more information on the Consumer Directed Personal Assistance Program (CDPAP), visit freedomcareny.com; they help streamline the process and make it easy for you to get the help you need.
Find New Things to Do
Accepting your limitations will be difficult. Focusing too much on what you can no longer do can inhibit you severely and make healing difficult. Instead, find new things to do that will help you live out your life the best way possible. Start a website, read more, write, create art, learn – there are so many options available to you that you can live a fulfilling life where you complete all your goals, regardless of how inhibiting your illness is.
Improve Your Base Health
Improving your base health is a crucial step that you need to take. Base health refers to the lifestyle habits you can make towards your health, like exercising or eating healthy meals. Do this because a body that gets all the nutrients that it needs works better, meaning you can fight against your illness or disability better and, at the very least, you can benefit from an improved mood.
Find New Ways to Spend Time with The Kids
You don’t have to be able to run around the house with them or drive them to practices in order to be a good mom. You can help support your kids in so many ways, and with technology, this becomes even easier. You can stay in touch with text, and you can call long distance for little to no extra charge, as well as speak to them through video. Help them with their homework, see their day through their photos, send jokes, articles, and more. Spend time with your kids no matter where they are simply by learning how to use the messaging systems on your phone.
Staying upbeat when you are living with an illness might be difficult, but by focusing on the things that you can still do because you are alive is the only way to live a happy life.
Be the Parent, Please: Stop Banning Seesaws and Start Banning Snapchat: Strategies for Solving the Real Parenting Problems
Toddlers on tablets. Pre-teens on Tumblr. Thanks to a variety of factors—from tech companies hungry for new audiences, to school administrations bent on making education digital, to a culture that promotes everyone as the star of their own reality shows—technology is irrevocably a part of childhood, and parents are struggling to keep up. What should be allowed? What should be denied? And, given the ubiquity of technology and its inherent usefulness, what do sensible boundaries even look like?
A noted columnist and mother of three, Naomi Schaefer Riley fully understands the seductive nature of screens. For example, an afternoon of finger painting equals enormous cleanup of both house and hands. But an afternoon of iPad games? Just a swipe and a charger. Or what about car rides around town? Always having toys and books on hand isn’t a given, but your game-loaded smart phone is.
Riley draws us into her story and then walks us through the research on technology’s encroachment into each stage of childhood. She then offers "tough mommy tips": realistic, practical, applicable advice for parents who recognize that unlimited technology access is a problem, but who don’t know where to start in taking back control. These tips cover everything from placating an antsy toddler at your local favorite restaurant to best practices for keeping your teens safe from unsavory sites.
Any parent knows the effects of screens on their distracted, cranky, sedentary, and incessantly anxious-about-what-might-be-going-on-without-them kids. Naomi Schaefer Riley brings her experience, research, and no-nonsense candor to help parents prevent the children from falling under the destructive spell of technology.
Drop the Call
by Naomi Schaefer Riley,
Author of Be the Parent, Please
Excerpted from Be the Parent, Please: Stop Banning Seesaws and Start Banning Snapchat. Published by Templeton Press. (c) 2018 Naomi Schaefer Riley:
When it comes to technology, parents must examine not only how they want their children to relate to the devices or how much of their time they want kids to spend texting or emailing or gaming or surfing. They need to decide something more fundamental—how their children are going to interact with the rest of the world.
It is not an exaggeration to say that giving your kids a cellphone is giving them the keys to the kingdom. There is a whole world out there that they can now access without your knowledge. That world, which will be constantly beeping at your child, will forever change him or her. It may change how your child views friendships, how he or she interacts with the outdoors, how he or she experiences time alone.
When we hand over phones and tablets to children, we are likely to be changing not only the information they can access but also their habits, their personalities, and their tastes. And while they may see their online life as a privilege -- if not a right -- we should also be honest enough to understand it as a burden. For the sake of our own convenience and their entertainment, we are giving up their freedom and perhaps even some of their happiness.
Tips for Cutting Back
Buy your child a watch and teach him or her how to use it. You may think that you need your kid to have a phone in order to arrange pickups and drop-offs, but you don’t. Agree to meet at a time. You are not Uber. If something goes wrong, teach your child how to ask the adult present to contact you.
Play the memory game. If you’re tempted to give kids technology because you can’t figure out how else they would entertain themselves or communicate with you or their friends, ask yourself how you did it as a kid. The answer won’t always be the right one, but it will give you perspective.
ABOUT THE AUTHOR:
Naomi Schaefer Riley is a weekly columnist for the New York Post and a former Wall Street Journal editor and writer whose work focuses on higher education, religion, philanthropy and culture. She is the author of six books, her most recent titled, The New Trail of Tears: How Washington Is Destroying American Indians, (Encounter, 2016). Her book, ’Til Faith Do Us Part: How Interfaith Marriage is Transforming America (Oxford, 2013), was named an editor’s pick by the New York Times Book Review. For more information, please visit http://www.naomiriley.com/
You're Grounded FOREVER....But First Let's Go Shopping
A MUST read for parents of daughters.
This book hit close to home, as I am the mother of two daughter who are ages 12 and 14. This book tells about The challenges Mothers face with their daughters, and provides ten timely solutions.
From reading this book I gained a greater insight to how I am influencing my daughters, whether it be for their good, or whether it be something I need to work on changing.
The question does come up, for me as well............do I cave into their needs to much, do I make excuses for them.....am I being helpful or a hinderence?
Is it harmful to be my daughters' best friend' ?
You're Grounded FOREVER....But First Let's GoShopping is truly like a handbook for Moms. It takes you through issues such as:
- Defending our Daughters
- Lacking Limits
- Being Critical of your Daughter’s Appearance
- Fixations on Food and Weight
- Romantic Lives
- Fostering Independence
- Material Indulgence
I really enjoyed reading this book as it was an eye-opener to what is truly important in raising our daughters to be strong women in the challinging day an age we live in.
Buy your copy at your favorite bookstore!