If you are going through a separation or a divorce, then you are probably experiencing a rollercoaster of emotions. Anger. Sadness. Frustration. Guilt.
All of this is completely normal but, of course, that doesn’t make it any easier.
Conflict is also common during a separation, especially when you are trying to navigate sensitive issues such as child custody and financial arrangements.
If you are struggling to communicate with your ex-partner and want to take steps to avoid conflict, then read on.
1. Bite your tongue
Although this can be incredibly difficult, if you want to avoid conflict, there will be times when you will have to bite your tongue rather than speak your mind.
Try to treat your ex-partner with respect and dignity, even if you don’t agree with something they have said or done. Not only will this make it easier to resolve issues but it will also make you feel better about yourself when everything is over.
2. Hire a family lawyer
Sometimes, you need to take a step back from a situation in order for it to get better and this is often the case with messy divorces.
By hiring a lawyer who specializes in family law issues such as child custody and divorce, you can get the advice and support you need and also minimize the amount of contact that you need to have with your ex-partner.
When looking for a family lawyer, make sure you find one that has experience working in your state, for example, a Pasadena family law attorney, as rules and regulations can vary from one state to another.
3. Put the children first
If you have children, then you need to be the bigger person and put their needs and feelings first. Whatever has happened between you and your ex-partner, they do not need to see you engaged in conflict.
Remember, your children did not ask for a separation, so don’t let any resentment or anger that you have for your ex-partner affect them.
4. Communicate effectively
As mentioned above, you may be struggling to communicate with your ex-partner without it resulting in conflict. If this is the case, then why not consider other methods of communication other than face-to-face meetings?
For example, you could try communicating via email or text messages. This will enable you to calm yourself down and formulate a polite response that won’t escalate into an argument.
5. Forget the past
If you want to be able to move forward, then you need to draw a line under the past. A lot has probably happened, with poor choices made by both parties at one point or another but there is no point in keep dragging up things that you can’t change.
Instead, agree to not talk about what happened during the relationship and focus on how you can move things forward.
Final thoughts
Avoiding conflict during a separation or divorce can seem like an impossible task, especially at the beginning. However, by taking small steps and keeping your cool, it can be done.
Try to focus your efforts on the future and don’t let yourself be dragged into an argument, however much you are provoked.
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