Wow, this is such a big topic! It’s hard to cover a topic like this but given the times that we find ourselves in at the moment, it’s really important to cover it.
Talking to anyone about death isn’t a fun experience, but by talking about things, we get them out in the open, and they become easier to deal with.
Be Age-Appropriate
It’s really difficult talking to small children about death because they will have no concept of it at all, in fact, up until around age five or six, kids won’t understand what’s going on at a deeper level.
Kids up until the age of three don’t have the mind to remember people and wonder where they are. They may remember for a while, but they will quickly forget, between three to six, they will assume that the person is coming back, just like they would if they were going on holiday.
It’s important to pitch your talk at the right age level and be clear that their loved one will not be coming back.
Don’t Lie or use Euphemisms
It may come as a shock to you, but kids are a lot more aware of what’s going on than we give them credit for, and suing a simple turn of phrase that may seem kinder to you may end up confusing them, or even scaring them.
We’ve all heard the tale of when a pet dies they “go to the farm”, or they are “asleep”, well it turns out that saying things like that isn’t helpful, it’s better, to be honest with kids about all kidneys of death, and tell them that their loved one or their pet is not coming back because they have died, this will help them to cope with grief.
Involve Children in The Planning
If you’re not going to lie to your kids that their loved one or their pet is going to come back or has simply gone to sleep, it might be useful to get them involved in the planning of a funeral, even if it’s a long way off.
Exit Here, funeral directors Richmond, England, have some great information on creating a funeral plan, these should be done while everyone is still alive, and getting kids involved can be a good way to introduce the topic
Answer Questions, Even the Difficult Ones
Kids will ask difficult questions when they realize that their loved one has passed away, but they may not realize that their questions aren’t appropriate. You might hear something like “who’s going to take me to swim class now?” or they may even be angry that the loved one has gone and isn’t coming back.
It’s best to anticipate this reaction and not rise to it; they are trying to learn to cope and have a lot less life experience to draw on than you do. Sit them down and talk it through rationally in clear and empathetic language.