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Beautiful Moms Blog

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Do You Want Your Kids to Get High Grades? Don’t Pressure Them

August 19, 2019 by Juliann

Are you hell-bent on making your children achievers in school? Your efforts might backfire sooner than later!

Today, many parents desire to raise academically proficient kids. It’s no surprise that moms and dads put a lot of planning and effort in matters concerning their kids’ education. You probably want your kids to ace their exams consistently. Perhaps you hover when they do their homework to see if they’re doing it right. Are you persistent in making them get good grades? Sometimes, the pressure to excel in school drives children nuts.

The Pressure to Have Good Grades

The irony of pressuring kids to be achievers is that it only creates underperformers. The root of the problem is that children can become less inspired as the pressure to get good grades increases. They worry that they won’t meet their parents’ expectations, so they become too competitive and conscious of their performance. The pressure shakes up their mental or emotional well-being, which is not the best condition for learning well.

When kids fail to get what their parents want, they experience guilt or shame. In their minds, they aren’t good or smart enough. This causes more threats to their psychological health, such as insecurity and pessimism. Such emotions can trigger bad behavior, like cheating to dodge failure and consuming illegal  substances to deal with stress. It’s essential to change your perspective and attitude towards your kids’ grades.

The Subtlety of Pressure

Not all parents will readily admit that they’ve been pressuring their kids to get excellent grades. It’s not because they’re in denial but because they’re unaware that their simple habits can be harmful. The truth is that pressure sneaks in subtly. Sometimes, it can take the form of encouragement. For instance, comparing your children to their siblings or another classmate is only a covert kind of pressure. So is telling kids that they’ll get a reward for excelling. Such strategies send the message that it’s okay to do bad things as long as good grades are achieved.

How can you properly encourage kids to be good in school? The most important step is teaching them the value of education. Make them understand why it pays to learn. You need as much help as possible in this task. Work with teachers. Ask them about your kids’ attitude toward learning. From there, you can ask about the school’s character development programs. If you’re still looking for good academies, consider international schools. It’s ideal to partner with professional advisers in your locale, too. If you tell your children that their excellence in school is a way to glorify a higher being or to nurture their souls, they will have a bigger purpose for getting good grades. The principle is that it takes a village to foster the discipline of learning in kids.

In the end, you should remember that there’s no merit in pressuring kids to get high grades; your plan will only backfire. The better approach is to teach children the importance of education or academic excellence. Once they’re convinced and committed, there’s no need for pressure. They will act on their own.

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About This Blog

Juliann, founder of Beautiful Moms

Welcome to Beautiful Moms!

Hi! I'm Juliann, wife of 33 years to Jon, a mom to four amazing children, and a proud grandma to five precious little ones. I live in Oregon.

When I started Beautiful Moms in 2008, my goal was to connect with other moms who were also raising young children. It became a creative outlet for me to share my thoughts on motherhood, review products I loved, and work with brands that help make family life a little easier.

More importantly, I wanted moms to feel seen. It's so easy to lose ourselves in the demands of caring for everyone else and forget that our own well-being matters, too. Every mom deserves to feel beautiful, valued, and appreciated, no matter what stage of motherhood she's in.

Over the years, Beautiful Moms has evolved right along with me. My children are now all grown up, and I'm blessed to be a grandma.

Life changes so quickly

One thing that hasn't changed is my passion for encouraging other moms—it's simply expanded to include every season of motherhood—from pregnancy and baby's first years to raising teens, becoming an empty nester, navigating healthy aging, and everything in between.


Myelie, contributor at Beautiful Moms

I'm excited to have my daughter, Myelie, join the Beautiful Moms team as a new contributor. As the mom of a newborn and a busy toddler, she brings a fresh perspective on modern motherhood.

She lives in Alabama with her military husband, so she also understands the unique challenges of military life, frequent moves, and building a happy home wherever life takes you.

Follow Myelie's journey as a military mama:
@themodernmilmom


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