Marriage is not entered into lightly; it is a bond and partnership between two people that grows and changes over time, but on occasions, every marriage can have its ups and downs. How you work through and solve any problems in your marriage will depend on many things, including how big the problems and issues are, and ultimately how much you both want your marriage to work.
Why counseling is beneficial.
Talking to each other works; however, sometimes you may feel you are talking to a brick wall when talking to your partner. Having someone to mediate how you are talking to each other is super beneficial. A counselor can observe how you communicate with each other both verbally and non-verbally. For example, you can be using a tone or manner with your partner that makes them put their defenses up, and you might not realize that you are doing this, but a counselor will see this and help you rectify this before your relationship breaks down irretrievably. Many problems in a marriage can be down to lack of communication or miscommunication, so be open to working on this in counseling.
If counseling is not an option
After you have finished your counseling sessions, it is now time for reflection and development – whether this is on your own or as a couple. If counseling has helped your relationship with your partner, that is fantastic, and you are free to move forward with your lives together and continue working on your marriage daily; however, if counseling has just pushed you further apart, you need to start finding an attorney for divorce as soon as possible and working out how you will both move forward separately. The divorce process will be emotionally and mentally draining and will most likely be a painful and stressful process, especially if one partner wants to end the marriage more than the other. With this in mind, it is so important to seek support in any outlets that can, whether this is through friends and family or perhaps even through joining a support group.
How to get the most out of counseling
To truly get the most benefit out of counseling, you need to be open to it working. If you enter counseling with a negative mind-set believing it will not help you or save your marriage, unfortunately, you are setting yourself up for failure. You need to leave preconceived ideas of counseling at the door before you enter. Accept that a counselor is there to help you and nothing more, they are not there to attack you, and they are not there to judge; they are there to listen and hopefully help you and your partners’ marriage work once more. In counseling, you both need to talk and listen; nobody should dominate counseling sessions as this could build hurt and resentment. Counseling is not a quick fix, and you bear this in mind with every session you have.
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