The internet can be a useful place, and when it comes to congratulating someone on pregnancy or birth, there are plenty of tips out there on the net to help you figure out just what to say and do.
However, what if you have a friend or loved one who has a miscarriage? The fact is, there is much less information available, and it can be hard to know what to say even if you have been through the same tragic occurrence yourself. There are, however, some things you can do to support your friend, and you can read on to find out what some of them are.
Acknowledge The Loss
It might seem like the best thing to do would be to avoid talking about the miscarriage at all – after all, if no one talks about it, there will be no awkward or upsetting conversations. However, although that might suit some women who have had a miscarriage, others will be more upset if no one acknowledges their loss.
It’s wise to take your lead from the woman herself; what does she want to do? Does she want to talk about what happened? If so, talk about it. Acknowledge that she has lost a baby and let her – and the father – share how they are feeling. You should also listen to their words, not overtaking the discussion or speaking over them at the same time. Let them talk and simply step back and listen – this is a great way to let them open up and help them with the healing process.
Even if you don’t know what to say (which you probably won’t), you are helping immensely by acknowledging what has happened and allowing the parent or parents to talk openly about it. Don’t force the conversation if they don’t feel ready to approach it, of course – but gauging their feelings and reactions to the topic is a good start, along with listening to them compassionately if they do want to speak.
Give A Small Gift
Perhaps giving a gift is not the first thing you would think of when it comes to supporting a friend or family member who has had a miscarriage, but it can actually be a great thing to do and be very helpful for them. These miscarriage gifts, for example, consist of a number of wonderful ideas that will serve as beautiful remembrances for the baby that was lost.
Giving a small gift to help remember the baby and acknowledge that they existed, albeit for a short time, is a good way to show that you care and understand and that you won’t forget about the child either.
Offer Practical Help
Some women who suffer a miscarriage are affected mentally, some physically, and some have to deal with both. As such, one of the best things you can do as a friend if you want to help out is to give practical help – offer to come and clean the house or do the grocery shopping or take the dog for a walk, for example.
Offer to help out with anything that the couple isn’t currently able to do because they need some time to recover from the emotional and physical loss they have just been through.
Include The Couple In Social Activities
When something devastating like a miscarriage happens, it can be tempting to exclude the couple from social events for a little while since you may assume they want to be left alone to grieve or you yourself might be avoiding confronting the issue. However, although that might be easier for you, it’s not making things any better for the couple, and it might even make them feel worse.
Make sure that you include them in events and gatherings just as you normally would, and although things won’t feel normal for a little while, a sense of that normalcy can be crucial in aiding recovery.
