It seems that ever since I got home from camping last week, I have been in a terrible funk. I think the camping trip wore me out physically and mentally, because it just isn’t my thing. Plus having to fetch my sun from the lakeshore and his terrible tantrums were so very exhausting.
The good thing, however is that I lost five pounds by chasing after Braxton and never, I mean, never having time to eat anything. I also breastfeed him, and for a few days (since he’s had a cold) all he’s lived on is breastmilk. I enjoy nourishing him. It fulfills my heart.
Back to my depression, I have suffered it my entire life, not diagnosed until age 23. I have had my ups and downs. I was first put on Paxil, which helped, but made me very cocky and bold. I’d say things to people I would never had said before. For instance, I ran into my 4th grade teacher at a school event for my youngest brother ten years ago, and I told (my former teacher) that he was a terrible teacher when I was in his class and that I’d hated him!
His face was so red. I can’t believe I’d said that. I also called a rather obese woman that she was a pig, because she yelled at my toddler for touching something at a school carnival back then.
After many years of changing meds, the right formula for me is Effexor 225 mg and Welbutrin 150mg. I have been pretty steady unless something throws me for a loop, like camping, Insomnia or being exhausted keeping up with my four kids and their daily demands.
I love to take Ambien at night, but I often use my prescription up before I can refill it, because sometimes I take more than I should! So, therefore I have Insomnia when I do not have it. I also take Xanax now and then for anxiety because I worry way too much about everything from the end of the world to my toes being polished.