Being a good mother is hard work. As moms, we’re expected to keep up with our career, household, children, relationships, and ourselves with a smile on our face. It can be overwhelming trying to juggle all of these responsibilities without complaint. Sometimes it can even feel impossible.
Moms are still human. We still experience the negative effects of stress, burnout, and sleep deprivation but we’re shamed if we talk about it. Bottling these negative emotions while trying to show that your life is perfect, especially online, isn’t healthy and can lead to serious consequences.
Addiction effects everyone, including mothers. Approximately 1 in every 12 adults in the United States is abusing alcohol or drugs and at least 7 million children are growing up in households where at least 1 parent is dependent on alcohol or drugs.
If you’re watching a mother struggle with addiction, then there are things you can do to help your friend overcome her vice and get back to being the mother her children deserve.
Signs of Addiction
No one can multitask and keep up a happy facade in difficult times quite like mothers can. That’s why it can be so hard to tell if your friend is struggling with addiction. You don’t want to ruin your friendship by making false accusations so it’s important to understand the signs of addiction before you approach your friend.
Some of the most common signs of addiction are:
- Sudden weight loss or gain
- Unusual and out of character emotional outbursts
- Secretive behavior
- Insomnia
- Smelling of drugs or alcohol
- Forgetfulness
- Lacking personal hygiene
A lot of these symptoms can overlap with mental illnesses such as depression. Have an open conversation about their mental health before confronting them about a potential addiction problem. This will help you to determine whether they’re suffering from an addiction or need a different kind of support.
Encourage a Recovery Program
If you’re able to determine that your friend is suffering from an addiction, then your priority should be aiding them in their recovery. Mothers can have a hard time reaching out for help because we’re expected to do it all and without complaint. Admitting to having a problem like addiction can make mothers feel like they’re failing themselves and their children.
The best way you can help your friend through their addiction is by encouraging them to enter a recovery program. Try to find a holistic treatment program that is designed for women specifically. If you’re not aware of any treatment programs in your area, then start by doing a simple online search. Try typing in something like ‘San Diego addiction treatment center’ and then you can make a list of resources to bring to your friend.
Show Your Support
The hardest part of recovery is often just taking that first step. Having a good support system can make all the difference for someone struggling with addiction. The shame mothers feel around their addiction can prevent them from reaching out for the help they need.
Once your friend has determined they’re going to put in the work to kick their addiction they’re going to need all the support they can get. Aside from helping your friend find a good recovery program, there are other ways you can support her.
Moms who are struggling with an alcohol addiction can have a particularly difficult time staying clean. With the rise of Mom Wine Culture, it’s become increasingly normalized for mothers to get together and drink. Drinking with friends, at children’s sporting events, dinners, etc has become a staple for many groups of mom friends.
You can help by offering to be your friend’s sober companion to these types of events. Bring alternative beverages the two of you can enjoy and be honest with your friend group about the need for alcohol-free events.
Another way you can help is by offering to accompany your friend while she runs errands. A lot of mothers who are struggling with alcoholism tend to buy their alcohol at the grocery store and that’s not an errand that mothers can avoid. Tagging along with your friend will provide them with the support and accountability they need to keep them out of the wine and beer aisles.
Don’t Judge
The biggest way you can support your mom friend through their addiction is simply by being there for them. Don’t judge them for falling into the hole of addiction. It doesn’t make her a bad mother and it doesn’t mean that she doesn’t love her family.
Addiction can happen for many different reasons. Some people grew up in households with addicted parents and it’s the behavior that’s been modeled for them. Others experienced a trauma in their lives that led them to self-medicate. And sometimes it just happens.
The reason behind your friend’s addiction shouldn’t matter. What matters is they want to get better, and they need your support to help them manage this disease. You can offer to drive them to their AA or NA meetings for moral support and try to make yourself available to talk.
Try to include your friend in as many events as you would have before their addiction. Certain times of the year can be particularly stressful for addicts. The holidays are stressful for us all and it’s a good time to check in with your friend to see how they’re coping and offer your support.
Ultimately, your friend is going to need to put in the work to beat her addiction. Having a good friend who empathizes with their situation and offers support when they need it can make all the difference in the world. Moms need to stick together because we’re often each other’s best support system. Helping your friend through her addiction will make your relationship that much stronger and, who knows, maybe there will be a dark time in your life when you need some extra support. You’ll know exactly who to turn to.
Leave a Reply