It doesn’t matter what you see online – motherhood can be messy. It can be confusing and scary and filled to the brim with negative connotations, no matter how happy you are to be a mother, or how much you love your child. Remembering this is often enough to help you stay sane!
However, in those moments when you feel like the mess is getting to be too much, taking time out, having a breather, and putting these tips to use is the best course of action. While the parenthood train never quite stops, you are allowed to step off and take a break!
Delegate and Be OK with it
Delegation can save lives, really. When you’re able to delegate, you really get to see just how much work you were taking on, and the fact that you never had to in the first place. This can be a revelation and a breath of fresh air, even if it makes you uncomfortable to give it a go!
After all, things don’t have to be perfect! And while it might sound harsh, you’re not the only person who is capable of getting things done. Whether you’re in a relationship or you have older children who can get a few chores completed each day, depend on them to help you and let yourself take a break.
If You Feel Alone, Talk About it
When you want to be understood, you have to seek out people in the same boat. That’s why motherhood support groups are essential, no matter what position you’re in or what else you’re dealing with in life.
To find a group relevant to you, start by looking on social media, or visit a site like https://embracegrace.com/. The more you talk about how messy parenting feels, and the more sympathetic and practical comments you get about it, the better your actions to ‘tidy up’ will be.
Have a Weekly Check-in with Yourself
If you check in with yourself, you take 5 to think about what you’re feeling and thinking, and whether anything is bothering you right now. For the latter, the problem could have happened at the beginning of the week, or it might be something that happened only an hour ago.
Whatever it is, whether big or small, these 5 minutes will help you to push the feeling out and get your head on straight.
Doing this at least once a week will help you to focus on parenting in the way you’d really like to. You won’t be distracted by something else going on in life that’s now replaying in your head over and over again. Message someone you trust or write it down in a journal; whatever it takes to get it out and let you breathe again, do it now.
If motherhood feels messy, don’t waste time blaming yourself. Instead, focus on why you’re feeling that way and make opportunities to take a break. All good mothers need their own time!